Allen: SpiderBaby, when did you get your start as wrestler?

The SpiderBaby: As a wrestler? I actually started in the wrestling business as a commentator in September 2002. The Powers That Be at that promotion recognized my frankly-astonishing capacity for making money, so they begged me to train as a wrestler. I debuted in November of 2003, beating one of my trainers quite handily. Careful what you wish for much?

Allen: Tell me about the history of the Tommy 'The SpiderBaby' Saturday name?

The SpiderBaby: Welp, that Griep fellow will tell you that it's the one speck of genuine inspiration he's ever experienced--the name just sort of occurred to him while he was in a sporting goods store. The truth is that my father, Doctor Dexter Saturday, is the world's foremost arachnologist. I took the name to stick it to Pater Saturday...I mean, to pay tribute to him.

Allen: What would cause you to try such a difficult sport?

The SpiderBaby: You've answered your own question, Allen-dear. When faced with the particulars of rocketing to the moon, JFK said, "We do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard." Wrestling has been a parallel odyssey for me, if I'm honest...and I rarely am.

Allen: Do you feel that being wrestler is like a superhero having secret identity?

The SpiderBaby: Oh, I feel more like a super-hero when I wear tights in public and rescue fair championship belts from the blubbery waists of villainous pretenders. Best of all, kryptonite has no effect on me.. other than clashing horribly with my outfits. Although in fairness, I must wonder who can really pull off the neon green look? Besides Wendi Richter, I mean.

Allen: How much time do you work out per week on wrestling?

The SpiderBaby: I lift weights at least four days a week. Lately, I've been working once or twice a week with former WCW Cruiserweight Champion Lenny Lane who has provided me with invaluable advanced training in wrestling--Tookas-Kicking 501, I call it. I wrestle one-to-four times a week. And I think about wrestling 24 hours a day. I even dream about it.

Allen: What titles do you hold for wrestling?

The SpiderBaby: Oh, titles come, and titles go in this business. I've held the Northern Lights Midwest Heavyweight Championship and the New Age Wrestling World Television Championship. I'm currently enjoying my second reign as one-half of the Northern Lights Wrestling Tag Team Champions, along with my partner Ian "The X-Man" Xavier. Ian is a remarkable talent and something of a mentor. Everywhere I wrestle, I'm either a champion or a top contender.

Allen: How do you find time to work on new comic book stories? I noticed your alter ego, Terrance, had a new story in a recent Scooby-Doo comic.

The SpiderBaby: It's just a matter of priorities. Freelance writing and freelance wrestling force you to budget your time pretty carefully...but I'll bet most soccer moms have it just as hard, if not as glamorously. Despite my oft-petulant nature, I'm grateful to have so many assignments and so many matches.

Allen: Do you do many charitable work causes as Tommy 'The SpiderBaby' Saturday?

The SpiderBaby: The SpiderBaby means money--whether it's in wrestling or in other venues. Just because I'm not above poking someone in the eye to win a match doesn't mean I can't give a little something back. I've got plenty of charities on my website (www.thespiderbaby.com), but my favorite one is the Minnesota branch of the ALS Association (www.alsmn.org).

Allen: Do you go to many comic book conventions dressed in your wrestling uniform?

The SpiderBaby: I once attended the Minnesota Comic Book Association's Fallcon and found myself assailed by Black Canary and Green Arrow...or reasonable facsimiles thereof. They claimed to be perpetrating some preemptive do-gooding, but it was an obvious case of professional jealousy: my outfit was more pizzazzy than theirs. There's been general talk with various conventions about me actually wrestling, but nothing's come of it. Yet.

Allen: What are some of your favorite wrestling stars that you admired in your youth?

The SpiderBaby: I liked bad guys who could actually wrestle. Chris Adams, Curt Hennig, Gino Hernandez, Bob Orton, Jr., Randy Savage, and the Four Horsemen were my favorites. I've noticed that I'm attracting the same kind of fans--young guys who like to kick authority in the knee...or a femur's length above the knee.

Allen: How has wrestling helped in your ability to let your alter ego write comic book stories? Is it like wrestling the keyboard or do stories hit at random?

The SpiderBaby: Wrestling has allowed me a wholly unique perspective on people, and connecting to people is what both writing and wrestling are all about. When I beat opponents up, the raw material of fiction spirals around me like a spider's web. I don't quite understand the creative process, but I'm confident it isn't random.

Allen: Have you ever tore muscles or broke bones while wrestling?

The SpiderBaby: You mean my own? Every wrestler is asked this wholly-reasonable question, and every wrestler who hasn't been seriously injured answers, "I've been lucky." But the truth is, I've been smart. I got dinged up pretty good learning the literal ropes of professional wrestling, but since then, I've used my head and my hands to make deuced sure it was the other guy who got hurt.

Allen: Do you feel Tommy 'The SpiderBaby' Saturday is more of hero or villain in the wrestling ring?

The SpiderBaby: Oh, ho! This question makes you the Walter Cronkite of comics journalism, Friend Allen...or at least the Katie Couric thereof. Most wrestling fans will tell you I'm a villain, but I'm merely misunderstood. Something like Venom, the Sub-Mariner, or Rob Liefeld, I have my own sense of morality and honor--it's just too complex for most wrestling fans to comprehend.

Allen: Do you have a current website? How can Jazma readers find out when your next wrestling event will occur?

The SpiderBaby: Honestly, if that's the priority, they can send me an e-mail at Sp1derBaby@aol.com . I send out updates once a month. My many friends and hangers-on frequently ask me, per my schedule, if I won a given match, but the simple truth is this: when The SpiderBaby wrestles, everybody wins.

Allen: Who are some of your ultimate villains that you wrestle?

The SpiderBaby: Right now, my least favorite wrestler is Johnny Goldengate, or Johnny Watergate, as I call him. Ostensibly to help me, he interfered in a match where I had my opponent trapped in the SpiderBite, a submission hold. Watergate clobbered me with a chain and cost me one of my myriad titles. I intend to unleash some furiously bad karma on his ramp-shaped rump very soon.

Allen: What are some of your favorite wrestling techniques?

The SpiderBaby: My very favorite technique is sneaking a foreign object into the ring, then moving it around as the referee checks the wrong spot. For instance, I may hide said object in my trunks, causing the fans to froth mightily. While the ref turns his back to consult with the fanny frothings, I move said foreign object to my boot. The zebra always stays one step behind me, driving the audience nuts...which is my first and foremost function. Using a weapon against my opponent catalyzes my impending victory, as well.

Allen: Do you have any videos of your matches online?

The SpiderBaby: I think one can find me on YouTube--then again, you can find everybody on YouTube, can't you? I've never bothered to look, but I'm told there are matches and interviews there under the optimistic banner of "Battlenet TV." Jazma's visitors can search under my name or Glam Slam, the designation of my current tag team. Did I mention we're the Champs?

Allen: Does your alter ego, Terrance Griep, have any past comic books he would like to talk about? What is he working on at present time? What future books will he be working on? Also, who will be publishers of present and future stories?

The SpiderBaby: With all due respect, Allen--why the expletive-deleted should anyone care? I mean, who the blue hecks has Terrance Griep ever beaten? Next question, please.

Allen: What are some of Tommy 'The SpiderBaby' Saturday and Terrance's favorite authors?

The SpiderBaby: I had my fill of reading during various stays at various European reform schools throughout my not-altogether-happy adolescence. Griep'll read the instruction manual of his fax machine and like it--he says he has a hungry mind, whatever that means.

Allen: What are your favorite types of foods?

The SpiderBaby: I can tell you that protein is quickly becoming my least favorite, as I'm eating it almost constantly in support of a pretty rigorous weightlifting program. Since I started wrestling, I've gained about 25 pounds of muscle and 10 pounds of goo. I'm pretty strict about my diet, but my unapologetically-nummiest comfort food is macaroni and cheese. I've cherished it since I was a SpiderFetus.

Allen: What types of movies do Tommy 'The SpiderBaby' Saturday and Terrance Griep like to watch?

The SpiderBaby: Griep can't stand movies because the writing is generally so terrible. I like vampire flicks where the bad guys win. I don't know why--that ending just sort'a speaks to me.

Allen: What are some favorite music groups both of you like to listen to while wrestling and writing?

The SpiderBaby: Although I never listen to music while wrestling, I like sad songs and my own entrance music, "My Prerogative" by Bobby Brown. Griep likes old jazz, especially reworked old jazz like Harry Connick, Jr. When Griep started writing, he used "Jr." in his name as an homage to Mister Connick. Griep's dad's name was Biff.

Allen: What is your weight class for wrestling?

The SpiderBaby: I'm about 230 pounds right now. The generally-accepted cutoff for cruiserweight, the smaller division, is 220, so I can move back forth between the two. That's bad news for wrestlers of every shape, size, and stripe. Someday, within any given organization, I hope to hold simultaneously a cruiserweight, heavyweight, tag team, and women's championship.

Allen: What is best way to contact Tommy 'The SpiderBaby' Saturday and Terrance Griep?

The SpiderBaby: The best ways are Sp1derBaby@aol.com or tgriepjr@aol.com , respectively. Sitting in the audience at a wrestling card and booing is the second-best way.

Allen: Will you be making any more comic book convention appearances?

The SpiderBaby: I don't have any scheduled, but Griep's doing San Diego this summer. I'll be frying bacon at the nearby nude beach those days just to watch people do that cockamamie naked-person-exposed-to-spattering-grease dance. It's the little things, you know?

Allen: I hate to reveal secret identities. It is fun though to know that comic book writer Terrance Griep is actually Tommy 'The SpiderBaby' Saturday. This idea for interview was something that we talked about for while after Minnesota MicroCon. Thank you, Tommy 'The SpiderBaby' Saturday, for talking to me today to talk about your unexpected life as wrestler and writer. Would you like to add some more thoughts of wisdom?

The SpiderBaby: When you're on offense, they're on defense. That's true in the ring, and it's true everywhere else, too. Thank you for your great taste in subjects, Friend Allen!